It might be time to start a prayer chain for every furnace in Sioux Falls, because the Sioux Empire is about to get slapped with a blast of cold so intense it makes January feel personally offended.

So much for that mildly cooperative January we enjoyed earlier this month. You know, the one where going outside didn’t feel like a personal challenge and a quick coffee run didn’t require three layers and a winter survival kit. Turns out winter was just lulling us into a false sense of security. And now? We’re paying for it with interest.

If you haven’t checked the extended forecast recently, brace yourself. Friday, January 23, is shaping up to have a high temperature of –5 degrees. Yes, that’s a minus sign.

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According to Dakota News Now, the deep freeze really gets rolling Thursday night, when temperatures are expected to plunge to –16. Friday won’t offer much relief, topping out at –5 before sinking right back down to around –13 Friday night. And just to make things extra fun, those numbers are the actual temperatures. not wind chills. The wind chills are basically just rubbing salt in our frostbitten wounds.

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As shocking as these numbers sound, they’re still not the coldest Sioux Falls has ever endured. That dubious honor belongs to January 12, 1912, when temperatures dropped to a jaw-dropping –38 degrees. One can only imagine how many Model Ts refused to start that morning.

There’s also legendary talk of February 1899, when the temperature supposedly sank to –42 degrees in Sioux Falls. Of course, that was before official record-keeping, but let’s just say no one alive at the time probably argued the point.

The good news? This icy episode should loosen its grip sometime next Monday. Until then, dig out your long johns, layer like a champion, and consider whispering sweet nothings to your furnace. Let's pray it keeps kicking out those great big beautiful BTUs between now and then.

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Gallery Credit: Dave Roberts

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