Sioux City, Iowa Has CRABS!! 3 Possible Explanations
Sioux Empire! If you love yourself a crab leg buffet, you may be about to get lucky. And if you don't like the idea of ocean life rampaging through the Midwest, it's time to grab the go-bag.
Two local news organizations are reporting that on Thursday the Cow Town with an Opera House, Sioux City, Iowa...has crabs.
No. Literally. Crabs. Like, decapod crustaceans of the infraorder Brachyura (Thanks Wikipedia!). AKA evil turtles with scorpion hands.
According to our friends at Dakota News Now, a crab was discovered in a vending machine at the Frances Building in downtown Sioux City. Folks trying to get their snacks were getting snapped at witnesses say. A gentleman looked inside and found ol Mr. Krabs just chillin'.
The giant sea bug didn't last long, it died soon after discovery.
Then KTIV TV in Sioux City reported that ANOTHER crab was found in the Sioux City Public Library's computer lab, also on Thursday.
The staff found what was identified as a Chesapeake blue crab. They took to calling the creature "Chester." I'd guess the name was inspired by the children's book. This one also went to the great Kitchen Statium in the sky shortly after they found him.
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Why is Sioux City Getting All Crabby?
Why is this happening? What does it mean? Let's look at the facts as we know them.
1. A live crab was found in the Frances Building in Sioux City.
B. A live crab was also found in the Sioux City Public Library.
3. Crabs can't fly.
These facts point to one of three possibilities.
First, these crabs are the advanced troops of an alien invasion. This is not a new idea. Since the 1950s we have been warned about the threat of space crustaceans.
Second, it's genetic experiments gone wrong. Has Sabation gotten into a batch of Super Soldier Serum? Is The Deep up to something? I'm just asking questions. I also just finally watched The Boys, it's great check it out. Jack Quaid is a revelation.
Or, and this is the most far-out scenario, someone was just doing something fun and goofy. I know, someone will pull an Agent Scully and say that the library and office building are connected by a skyway and that's why it happened when it did.
And why else would crabs be in an office building? Someone just ended up with a couple of leftover crabs from lunch. That happens to all of us, the skeptics would say.
We may never know the truth.
In closing, I have a request. Please, everyone else, don't try to do this yourself. Kudos to the alleged pranksters. But it's been done. Listen to the words of the team at the Sioux City Public Library and don't leave random things or creatures in the library. Or vending machines. Crabs belong in the garbage because they are gross.
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Gallery Credit: Stacker