It's August. That means that it's almost the official start of "Hey, Throw These Zucchini Away at Your House for Me Please" season.

Yes, it's the time of year when people start bringing zucchini into work trying to make you take them home. So you can then set them on your counter and throw them away in a month.

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Are zucchini even edible?

All this got me thinking, I've never seen anyone eat a zucchini. Are they even edible? What are they for? What is going on? What is the grand zucchini plan?

Come to think of it, I've never even seen anyone plant a zucchini. Do they come from gardens? Are they a wild plant? A noxious weed?

Where do zucchini originate and why are people trying to get me to take them home?

I think the only answer is that they are not of this planet. I don't know if they are an egg of some sort, a listening device, or maybe even the alien itself. Who knows what life is like out there, around billions and billions of suns.

That brings up another question. Are the people helping these off-world squash impostors in a galactic takeover? Are they agents of the Court of the Grand Zucchini, who, I'm assuming, is the head of the interstellar Zucchinian Domain?

These important questions need answers. Until we know the truth, steer clear of the green menace. Don't fall prey to the pleas of the people distributing those so-called food things. Don't believe any peanut butter-based lies!

Leave the green, alien Trojan horses on the break-room counter. Tell grandam you will not be a part of the Zucchinian invasion of Earth.

This message brought to by the Butternut Squash Foundation.

MORE: It’s National ‘Sneak Some Zucchini On Your Neighbor’s Porch Day’- Here’s How To Celebrate It

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